Perfectionism

PERFECTIONISM has, in actual fact, acquired numerous definitions in contemporary moral and political philosophy.

Historically, perfectionism is associated with ethical theories which characterise the human good in terms of development of human nature. Writers as diverse as Aristotle and Spinoza are perfectionists in this sense.

Perfectionist

Sad to say, in this present world, the changing attitude of human towards selfishness has given a whole new definition to “perfectionism”. I once heard an old man saying, “Mankind is itself a self-centred kid.” Well, there’s no doubt that with rising number of challenges and competitions, the game-play needs to be changed. To most people out there, being a perfectionist translates into insane amount of hard work to be better than others in certain fields, or worse, all fields. Now, since when does perfectionism = “kiasuism”? I know a number of friends who love to beat others in terms of grades, games or even wealth. And, when they manage to end up as the better one, there’s always a satisfied grin that seems to be endlessly shouting out “I had warned you right? I am the better one”. But, when they fail, the reverse psychology is in control whereby the monologue of “He had warned me. I am the lousier one.” will stick in their mind for a very long time, if not forever. It doesn’t end there. They will strive dead hard to be the best in that particular field just in order to get rid of those taunting and they can’t never be really happy, not before achieving their goals.

It is indeed easy to fall from the world of “perfectionism” to “kiasuism”, but there’s a clear, bold line which separates them. A perfectionist will always try his or her level best to be better in a field for two common reasons. “A” because it is necessary and “B” because he or she has real passion in it. In other words, the basis for all the efforts done will determine whether one is a perfectionist or “kiasuist”. No, you can’t simply cheat yourself and say that you are not “kiasu” when the fact remains that you really are one. “Kiasuist”s, themselves, are extremely vulnerable to certain adverse effects such as stress overload or failed social life.

Here’s a brief summary about the 7 habits of a perfectionist :

1. EATING

Eating

A perfectionist favours a particular selection of food. Dishes such as crabs or prawns, which are messy, will be a no-no for him or her. Another reason for not eating crab is that it’s simply tedious and difficult to make sure that all the flesh is eaten. Fruits such as mangosteen or “duku” are also avoided by fellow perfectionists. Mangosteen is messy as it contains lots of juice. “Duku”, on the other hand, is less messy, but the quality control is not there. Defective ones are abundant in a typical bag of “duku”s which are seemingly making their life imperfect. They would prefer eating apples, pears or mangoes. A perfectionist will also ensure that there’s no leftover vege or crumbs for any burger (above) which he or she is indulging himself or herself with.

2. WORKING

Working

Working attitude is also worth mentioning. He or she will devote all his or her time and energy to get the best result. When one’s lecturer, superior or employer criticises his or her work, he or she will be motivated to improve. However, this often leads to procrastination. We try to complete a task flawlessly from the very beginning, but this requires lots of work, that in return leads to a lot of stress, thus resulting in procrastination. This is because the brain will associate that stress with the respective task and will try to avoid it, most often by postponing it. Besides that, perfectionists usually have neat and vertical handwritings which show that they are organised. The uniqueness of handwritings was highlighted by a friend of mine, Relax.

3. SLEEPING

Sleeping

They have regular sleeping routines. (Something which I fail to do.) Waking up and hitting the sack at certain hours of everyday. It’s much more like a system. However, sleeping disorder is also common among perfectionists as they are always worried about tomorrow. An old Chinese saying of “Old men used to worry that the sky will fall and kill them” will be sufficient to explain this. Some perfectionists manage to overcome this by planning ahead of everything, but it is easier said than done.

4. TALKING

Talking

Perfectionists are also afraid of making blunders or mistakes in conversations. So, they will think very carefully before spitting the words out. As a result, they can potentially become good lawyers or spokepersons. One drawback from this perfect talking style is that sometimes they find it very hard to get themselves engaged well in a casual conversation where people just speak out their minds and might occasionally, but not intentionally, offend others.

5. WALKING

Walking

They walk stylishly. They appear confident and never drag their feet while walking. Besides that, they will make sure that their walking shoes are presentable. This will be discussed later in the “appearance” section. A perfectionist is always aware of how he or she is walking. And, it’s an utmost rare occasion that he or she will stumble over something or step into a hole when walking.

6. SHOPPING

Shopping

Perfectionists will shop for the latest products and get the best bargain for the desired goods. For instance, a perfectionist will crave for the latest model of mobile phone, mp3 player or television set. Those are considered as small scale. Bigger scale ones include cars or houses. It is also known that they often ensure that the value of their bucks is made use of, fully.

7. APPEARANCE

Appearance

They are very concerned about their own appearances. A pimple or wrinkle on the face is thought to be capable of ruining their reputation. Hence, they are hardcore fans of facial masks, cleanser and all other cosmetic products. Sure enough, they will make sure that the shirt, blouse, skirt or jeans, which they put on, are pleasant and attractive enough for others. For myself, I think a can of wax, one tube of facial cleanser and smart casuals are good enough to be presentable.

One crucial thing which most perfectionists neglect or find it off their radar is their very own health. They are too busy in perfecting other things in life to the extent that their neglect their health, the essence of life itself. That’s why the idea of many successful, middle-aged businessmen or politicians having high cholesterol or sugar levels becomes a cliché. The reason for the very existence of this stereotype mentality is that most of them are so engrossed with their respective careers that they forget their own limits.

If you have carefully gone through every single detail above, you will realise that I have actually listed out the bright and dim side of being a perfectionist. Well, to make explanations easier, let me put it as the pros and cons of a perfectionist in writing, a more familiar and easy-to-swallow topic for you.

PERFECTIONISM is, as a matter of fact, one of the most common writing temperaments. As an example, Relax, the owner and writer of WiseCurve.com, has always wanted to label his weblog as “A Blog of Substance”. Therefore, inspired by KCLau, this would-be engineer (but going to retire soon enough ) inserted many wonderful ideas, points and insights into various random issues in order to achieve his goal. What I can say here is that he is a real perfectionist in blog content, someone we should salute.

Now, what’s so good or so bad of being a perfectionist in writing?

The BENEFIT of this temperament: The piece is GOOD. Really good. You take pride in your work. You have high standards and insist on meeting them. That in and of itself sets you apart from many people who want to write for publication but think revision is optional.

The COST of this temperament: But if you keep your manuscript (Don’t misunderstand me. This does not apply to Relax. He is one great writer.) chained to a treadmill of never-ending revision, no one but your immediate friends or family will ever get the chance to admire your high standards. Furthermore, you’re not stretching and growing as a writer, of course unless your revisions include major overhauls, new chapters and a substantive amount of rethinking and rewriting, you’re only using one side of your brain when you edit (the logical, organising side).

Here’s a piece advice from a site : “Procrastination should better not set in. Writers get better with each article, story, poem or book they finish. Don’t limit yourself to perfecting and polishing the same thing and thereby condemn yourself to editorial limbo.”

But, it’s also worth mentioning that if writing is really important to a writer, he or she can succeed with the appropriate attitude, no matter what writing temperament he or she is.

At the end of the day, it depends on you…whether you want to become a happy perfectionist, gloomy perfectionist or not perfectionist at all.

Perfect love life… a perfect this and a perfect that. That’s what we, humans, crave for. However, that is not always the case.

“The world is unfair. That’s why it is oval and not square.” An extract taken from Alfred’s blog.

The world, itself, is imperfect. Therefore, it’s of utmost importance to understand that no one and nothing is perfect. It’s actually the imperfections that make the world around us so beautiful and, most of all, unique. You can try to write the most complete and helpful article ever, but you’ll never succeed, because there’ll always be room for improvement. An imperfect work completed today is always superior to the perfect job delayed indefinitely. Based on this, I wrote this post.

Penning off,

ZhaoMing